So, I'm doing much better, trying not to be late to class, but I need to do that with work. I hate getting up in the mornings, but I need to. Working in the morning helps me get up and go to school early, so that I won't be late. It also makes me do my homework if I haven't finished it.
So the issue today is: I need to stop procrastinating when it comes to my homework, first of all. Second, I should get ready earlier when I need to go somewhere...but I don't because I'm still reading my book or watching something (TV Show, drama, anime) or too tired/lazy. You get the idea, right? Third, when I need to do something like laundry, clean the room, make food or something else, and work out; I'm procrastinating and do it at the last minute. It's like I just can't help myself. I've tried to get out of the habit...but like they say, "habits die hard." Mine is definitely taking forever to die...Hahahah...LOL. Is it any wonder? I keep feeding it, so of course it's never going to die. I really need to, but it's so damn hard. Its voice is so persuasive and I can't ignore it. I know I need to be stronger and just ignore it. I've only been successful a few times and that's it. I think that's one of the things I dislike about myself. But sometimes I wonder if it's a sign why I can't break out of that habit. Maybe it's telling me that I need to slow down. Maybe my soul or some other essence knows something beyond my knowledge or comprehension. Or maybe there's nothing. I don't know, but I intend to find that out for myself.
Being a procrastinator has its good points:
1. Avoid traffic
2. Avoid a car accident
3. Avoid being caught by a law enforcement
4. Avoid death by an earthquake (This really happened. In China, this girl survived the earthquake this year because she was lazy getting out of bed, while her roommates, friends, didn't because they were already heading towards school, which made them more vulnerable to the earthquake.)
5. Avoid being too early at parties (that seem to take forever, an eternity to begin)
6. Avoid something/someone you don't want to see
7. Avoid some kind of catastrophe (I don't know what, but something. :) )
Okay, so there aren't a lot of good points, but at least there's one. It's not totally bad to be one, but again it's not entirely good either. There's gotta be a balance between the two - a yin and a yang. It's hard to know when you should procrastinate. I would say, "Go with your gut, your instinct, your intuition." If your mind keeps telling you to do something and you can't stop when you really want, then there must be some kind of reason. That force, I believe, is some kind of strong force, maybe your aura or your guardian angel, forcing you to stay rather than allow you to go and do something or to go somewhere. It's pulling you back and won't let you go until it's safe and clear for you to proceed.
Do you sometimes feel that force holding you back from doing something, so you are procrastinating doing that other thing you're supposed to do? I do. Although, I think, there are some instances it is me who is holding myself back. Not this force or guardian angel. So these "instances" I need to fight back and just do my homework and not delay the inevitable. It's hard to get on the right path, but there are always trial and errors. You'll find what is right for yourself no matter how long it takes. You just have to listen, feel, and see with all of you to know. I know.
